Deeper look into an article from THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, February 22, 2007 “Dealing With the Dead Zone: Spouses Too Tired to Talk”
According to a December 2006 Harvard Business Review study, some high-earning managers said they relax after work with a glass of wine (ワイン一杯). However, although alcohol relaxes the body and eases conversation (体をほぐして会話を促進させる), it also makes it easy for one to take out his/her work stress at the other spouse or partner by becoming irritated and angry (イライラしたり怒ったりして、ストレスを配偶者／パートナーにぶつけてしまいかねない). This further damages the relationship. Drinking also impairs (阻害する) sleep. So if you or your spouse is depending on alcohol to relax after work, stop. More than one glass of wine per day for women (女性の場合は一日一杯超のワイン), and more than two glasses of wine per day for men (男性の場合は一日２杯超のワイン), is considered excessive drinking (飲みすぎ).
One way to deal with conversation dead-end after work is to calmly telling your spouse or partner that you appreciate the attention (気にかけてくれるのは嬉しいけれど) but just need some time alone. Some couples have established rules where one spouse or partner would ignore (無視) the other for first 30 minutes he/she gets home from work but would begin communicating after that. Other couples try to talk over phone during the day or schedule talking time after dinner. If all fails, try exercising before going home. Building physical strength helps fight stress and enables the mind to refresh.
Try everything you can and stick with whatever works for you. In all cases, don’t shut your spouse or partner out of your life and not do anything to fix your problem. If you do that, you will destroy your relationship.
Thinking about working in Japan? Preparing to move overseas almost becomes a full-time job in the final weeks of your departure. Many people quit their jobs weeks before so they can devote their time to preparation. But what about your health insurance? Short-term health insurance plans are a great solution. ↓
Below are links to Certified Social Insurance and Labor Consultants providing services in English. Also below are useful links related to working in Japan and links to women balancing career and personal happiness. WJA realizes and promotes women's increasing value in the labor market.